Listen
to the children, Mrs Hodge
by Yvonne
Roberts
The Observer
- Sunday 30th May 2004
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,6903,1227713,00.html
Young
lives will suffer from Britain's scandalous refusal to force mediation
on parents
A girl
of 10, severely depressed, has become mute - her only defence against
parents who have fought over her for the past four years, ever since
their marriage failed. She sits in a room with a mediator, aware that
her mother and father are watching behind a one-way mirror. For the
first time she is given the opportunity to say how she would like her
parents to behave.
She
breaks her silence to say she would like her father to stop hurting
her and her mum, and that he should talk to someone about his anger.
She also says her mother should stop calling her dad an evil pig and
talk to someone about her sadness. The mediator tells the parents they
can take heed of their daughter or continue in the destruction of her
life.
Over
several sessions their behaviour changes and they seek counselling to
deal with what their daughter has laid bare. A year later the child,
who has found her voice again, writes a letter saying that her parents
are doing well, and thanking the mediator for listening to her point
of view.
In
the war between mothers and fathers, the figure often erased from the
picture is that of the child. Many adults are too shackled to their
own hurt to place the needs of their offspring first. Professionals
also often overlook the young. In recent research, children repeatedly
said they had not been heard either by the family justice system or
their parents.
In
Australia in 2000 the attorney general's department investigated its
mediation and counselling services. It, too, discovered that children's
views had been disregarded and professionals were resistant to change.
A six-month pilot project radically overhauled the system. Children,
such as the 10-year-old, were invited to testify to the impact of perpetual
hostility. Parenting programmes to make adults more aware of the child's
perspective were established and there was improved contact for non-resident
parents. The pilot proved a spectacular success and is being rolled
out across Australia. In the UK, Vicky Leach, from the children's charity
the NCH, has tried for many months to raise government funding for a
similar pilot here - to no avail.
Research
underscores common sense. Children do better when a couple handle a
separation as harmoniously as possible. In practice, a high proportion
of children cease to see their fathers within two years. Some dads may
be irresponsible and a danger. A high proportion, however, are thwarted
by mothers. In the 1980s, in Florida, a system of 'therapeutic justice'
was established based on the twin premise that the children's interests
genuinely come first and the law should do no harm.
As
a result, a parent knows that, unless there is abuse, the courts will
grant a non-resident parent access at least every other weekend and
one evening a week. In addition, adults have to attend mediation and
parenting classes. As with the Australian model, these remind them that
exorcising matrimonial demons in their offsprings' presence and inventing
reasons why daddy (or mummy) can't be seen this Sunday is wounding the
child. Mothers who refuse to comply with a contact order are jailed.
Penalties have been imposed rarely.
The
point of the Florida endeavour is that, no matter who has done what
to whom, the weapon of using the children is simply not available. Hence,
in a changed climate, more parents try to resolve their problems. In
this country, last year, the organisation New Approaches to Contact
- composed of fathers, academics and lawyers, and with the backing of
Mrs Justice Bracewell, an esteemed senior family court judge - drew
up a pilot 'Early Inter ventions' project, which adopted much of the
Florida template, including the compulsory compliance of parents. 'It
would be incomprehensible if the pilot project did not receive official
sanction,' Mrs Justice Bracewell wrote. 'It should produce much better
outcomes for parents and children.'
Now
the inconceivable has occurred. Last week the project was officially
dumped. Instead, the Department for Education and Skills (DfES), under
the children's Minister, Margaret Hodge, has its own - very different
- pilot, in which the involvement of parents will be voluntary - a fatal
flaw. The team designing the detail of the DfES pilot, to be launched
in September, has next to no voices representing children's interests.
Althea Efunshile is chair of the DfES design team. She writes: 'It is
a key aim ... to encourage parents to step back from the adult conflict
and focus exclusively on the needs of their children. Both parents will
be expected to work together draw up their own plan for co-operative
parenting.'
If
it is that easy for a divorced couple to 'work together', why the need
for the pilot? Hostile parents won't co-operate simply because she and
Ms Hodge have invited them to. Nor will this scheme achieve the necessary
and vital cultural shift. In short, it's a waste of time.
It's
not too late. The Early Interventions pilot should be tried out - even
if it requires a change in the law to permit the compulsion of parents.
A pilot based on the Australian findings also deserves to be funded,
to gauge if we truly operate in the best interests of the child. 'It
is time to go back to basics,' Vicky Leach says. 'The child's experience
of events must be at the centre of any process, while adults have to
be stopped progressing down an increasingly conflicted road.'
I
wrote to Margaret Hodge to ask her why she believes voluntary
mediation works after the Lord Chancellor stated on 16th January
2001- it did not, but Esporanca Harvey from the DCA Family Justice
Division replied instead telling me that family mediation should
not be confused with information meetings, So I rang Esporanca
Harvey to ask her what happens at these information meetings
if one parent simply dose not agree and she said that it dose
not work.
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