Record
numbers of men are being hit by their stressed-out wives and girlfriends
By Sophie
Goodchild, Chief Reporter
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/article326826.ece
Independant
- 13th November 2005
'I
went frantic, punching him'
For centuries,
women have been stereotyped as the passive victims of violence and
aggression. Yet experts are now warning that record numbers of men
are being physically abused by their stressed- out wives and girlfriends.
New figures
show that the number of calls to domestic violence helplines from
male victims has more than doubled over the past five years. And
now one of the world's leading feminist journals will investigate
the issue of male abuse for the first time in its history: the Psychology
of Women Quarterly will devote a whole edition to research on violent
women and their behaviour towards men.
Until now,
domestic violence has been seen by police and ministers as an issue
which blights the lives of women rather than men. Their policies
are based on Home Office figures, which show that one in four women
suffer abuse in the home compared with one in six men.
Incidents
such as the arrest earlier this month of Rebekah Wade, the editor
of The Sun, after an alleged assault on her husband, EastEnders
actor Ross Kemp, are generally treated as trivial and a source of
amusement by social watchers. However, experts say that although
attacks by men are more common and extreme, there is increasing
evidence that women are lashing out and adopting behaviour traditionally
associated with men.
This trend
is fuelled partly by an increase in binge-drinking and drug- taking
among women as well as the pressure of juggling motherhood and career
success.
ManKind,
an organisation which campaigns for equal rights for men, receives
more than a thousand calls a year to its helpline from male victims
of domestic violence as well as from doctors worried about patients
they suspect are being abused by their girlfriends and wives.
The charity
Snap, which runs a gender-neutral helpline, says it receives up
to 25 calls a day from battered men. There are only four places
in the country which offer shelter to male victims of domestic violence,
which men's rights campaigners say is not enough.
"The
ones who are the perpetrators are in the caring professions - social
workers, nurses, carers," said Anne Harris, a spokeswoman for
Snap.
Research
to be published next year will also show that more men report being
victims of domestic abuse - and fewer women - in countries where
there is greater gender equality. Based on an analysis of UN data
on gender equality, the study by the University of Central Lancashire
will show that more women carry out attacks on their male partners
in Western nations such as Britain and the US compared with countries
such as Pakistan.
Professor
John Archer, an expert on both male and female aggression, who carried
out the study, attracted huge controversy with a report five years
ago showing that women were likely to lash out more frequently than
men during rows. He says that battered men are treated as figures
of fun by society and that policymakers must treat domestic abuse
against both men and women with equal seriousness.
"There
is a strong cultural ethos drummed into men from an early age that
it's wrong to retaliate but these attitudes are not drummed into
women," said Mr Archer, Professor of psychology at the University
of Central Lancashire. "The Rebecca Wade case was treated as
a joke which typifies the differences in attitudes. The male victim
is seen as a subject of fun."
But Professor
Sylvia Walby from Lancaster Uni versity, who has carried out extensive
research on domestic violence, says that women are still overwhelmingly
the victims and suffer far more than men.
"Women
are far more vulnerable because they do not have the same financial
security as men and they are the ones who suffer more severe and
far more sustained attacks."
Dr Malcolm
George, an expert on the brain and human behaviour, says there is
evidence that "husband abuse" dates back to Elizabethan
times. Historical records that he has unearthed show that men who
were beaten by their wives were publicly humiliated in a special
ceremony called a "skimmington procession", named after
the ladle used to skim milk during cheese making.
"No
one disputes the fact that there is a group of men in society that
are highly violent," says the retired lecturer in neuroscience
at London University.
"But
it's nothing new for women to be violent and aggressive- it's just
society considers it a travesty of femininity for women to be violent
so they get stereotyped as passive victims."
Claire Stewart
is one of a growing number of women who are seeking professional
help to manage their anger.
The nursing
student, 37, from Leicester says she has head-butted Graham, a builder,
tried to strangle him and thrown furniture at him. Their relationship
has always been confrontational and at one point they split up.
Mrs Stewart believes her problems stem from not coming to terms
with the death of her father.
"Having
spoken to professionals, I think the anger goes back to my dad dying
when I was 11," says the mother-of-four, whose name has been
changed to protect her identity. "I was brought up to believe
that if you cry it's a sign of weakness. I am booked in to start
cognitive behaviour therapy. I think in the end we will get through.
When the
couple got back together, she says that she felther life had fallen
apart. "Our relationship had always been a bit up and down
but I thought it would stop when we got married," she says.
"When
he came back I felt like he was laughing at me. I completely lost
it. I went frantic, punching him in the head and body. I head-butted
him and tried to strangle him. I only stopped because my eldest
daughter came in and shouted at me to stop."
